With only 13 days left until New Years, I began to wonder: what will it bring? Will I get wiser, will I get prettier, funnier, smarter? Will I find a boyfriend or somebody who truly understands me? Will I pass Math, and will my parents not kill me? Will I be able to make it through the school year, will I go out on dates and kiss guys and have to time of my life? Will I look back on December 18, 2004 and say to myself man this year was the best year of my life. Will I get into trouble, will I reget doing things I didn't do? Will I go to Paris (the place I have always dreamed of going) or London? Will I get the ultimate present, will I lose weight, become more athletic or just feel better in my own skin?
I'm always asking myself will I. Will I do this, will I be this, will I. This year my plan (or my "new years resolution") is to MAKE things happen. Instead of all these bullshit "will I's" I'm going to turn them into I did. So, at the end of next year (December) I'm going to say to myself "last year was the best." I'm going to do things I've never dreamed of doing, I'm going to open my eyes to things I've never seen before, taste things, smell things, do things I've never dreamed of. I'm not going to regret things, because I'm going to make my decision wisely, I'm going to do it all. I'll make it happen, and nobody will know what the hell to do.
That is what I wrote last year. It's funny, I've been a member of live journal for over a year now. And, basiclly, in all sense. 2004 was a very interesting year. People changed, people grew closer - grew apart. Releationships were made, and redifined, school didn't get any easier. It's still the pain in my ass that has been like that forever. But, this year, is different. I went into this year dreading it, dreading everything, because, a lot of things had changed. But, in the end, it's not all that bad. I have gotten closer to a lot of new people, and stronger with different. I went to London, I opened my eyes to new wonders. I drank champange in France, and ale in London. Sangria in Spain. I ate ice cream on the boardwalk in Malaga. I face planted off of a skimboard into the Mediterannean. I spent three glorious weeks with my friends in a foreign country, and had never been happier. My best friend and I got closer then we have ever been. I expierence new cultures, and customs - I ran into the ocean at Midnight in Spain, wishing my friends beauty and health and good fortune. I redifined my goals, finally finding what I know I want to do for the rest of my life. I found my passions. My eyes were widened at the glorious thngs going on in my OWN city. I went to the best shows in 2004 - had some of the greatest times. Their have been extreme highs, and extreme lows, and amazing people to help me, or be with me at every step of the way. I found love, and life, and everything good that gets tied into it. I've had moments in which, I never want to come out of my room again, moments in which, I think that their is just no point. But then I realize, that, in the end, I'll look back on it like I am right now, and write about it, and realize that all in all, it has been an OKAY year.
Thanks to everybody who made me laugh, made me cry, and everything in between. I owe you one.